We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Randomize
