Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
