eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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