hotel room ftw
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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