Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My nipple is on Facebook.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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