I CAN MOONWALK!
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
