if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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