it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
