The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
