Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
