No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
