The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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