My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
