Do you still have your period?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
