haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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