"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
