someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
