Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize