he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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