He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
