D3 body, D1 cock
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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