Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
