Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
