I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
