Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
