cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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