happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
It was like getting head from an anaconda
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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