As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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