Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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