I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
How many fucks given?
0.12846
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
