babies were throwing up all over the place
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Girls should come with a carfax report
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
