Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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