Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
