Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
