I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
