I think im going to throw up on grandma
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
