i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
