PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize