You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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