it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We have so much sex to catch up on
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
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