She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
