dude i'm inner monologue high
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
