i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
she smelled like a LAN party
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
