We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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