You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
