HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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