i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
