in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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