On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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