just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
