i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
