I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
