best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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