David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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