It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
