I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize