TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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