remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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