Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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