That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize