Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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