drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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