When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
