Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
