Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
