we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
