Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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